I know full well that I am just plain messed up. I know I need more reassurance than most women. I'm not one of those strong independent women who can stand on their own and don't need others approval to go on in life. In fact, I am the complete opposite. Which is kind of sad, I know. But really, I've felt so unloved, uncared about, so worthless, unneeded, useless, (blah blah blah), my whole life. And when I make myself vulnerable, by completely opening up and inviting someone to be a part of my life, I get so scared. I just need to know, from time to time, that they still care. And to hear those three words, I love you... well, that doesn't hurt either.
But I acknowledge the fact that I am more needy than most women. Maybe because of my history with relationships in general? Probably. It just terrifies me to think that the person will leave me. Abandon me. And I'm not talking about just any person here. I am talking about when I really open up my heart to love someone, and I give them all I have to offer, when I love them unconditionally- its then that I let my insecurities get the best of me. It doesn't seem to take much to make me doubt everything about myself. About the relationship. About everything in my life. It's so easy to go back to feeling no self worth when that is really all you've ever known.
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Girl I have totally been there before. The only way to get your answer without driving yourself insane - is to ask them.
ReplyDeleteAsk them. when the time is right, when the emotion is right, when you feel right. Practice what you want to say to them, what you want to know from them. Do it alone in the bathroom, taking a shower, before you fall asleep. So that when the perfect time comes, and you know you need to ask now or never - you will ask where you stand as a priority in their life.
And though the answer might not be what you wanted or expected to her, atleast you have a response. A stepping stone for your future emotions and relationship with them.
Best of luck and keep us posted - hope you find a way to get your answer!
<3 AGG2eat
agg2eat.blogspot.com
when someone u love is crying thats like the perfect time to try to comfort them. maybe he wants to give u some space? theres alot of maybes.
ReplyDeleteif u wanna figure out how he feels about u just try observing the way he acts towards you and the things he says to you. should give u a good idea of whats going on in his head.
also try ur best to put ur insecurities aside. no matter what ur thinking inside ur head it doesnt affect the reality around you. i know it may be hard but just try your best.