Suicide

They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.  ~Arthur Schopenhauer

Well, I tried to commit suicide last night. But obviously I did not succeed. But just because this attempt did not work doesn't mean I'm going to give up.

For some reason, a calm has come over me. Especially since I made the decision that I am going to do this. I am going to kill myself. To know I won't have to deal with this much longer, to have realized that this is the one part of my pathetic life I can actually control.

I have nothing good in my life. I am broke, I am mentally and physically sick. I can't work. I can't have children. Can't lose weight. I'm not attractive in any way, and I have pretty much no friends. So please, I don't want reasons to live. Because for me, there aren't any. I am so very sick of feeling depressed, lonely, unloved and worthless.