Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I feel so dead inside. As if I am just barely alive. I'm conscious, sure, but I feel nothing. Nothing but this damn headache. I have no thoughts, no feelings, whatsoever. It's strange. I don't know whether I should enjoy this "peace" while I have it, or be scared of the silence inside of me? I just don't know.

I slept the majority of the day, and yet I don't remember dreaming. And the time I've been awake, I've felt like a zombie. I've done practically nothing in the few hours I've been awake. It's a good thing I didn't have anything I had to get done, because I did not even have the energy, desire, or motivation to accomplish anything. I even had to force myself to eat, because I could tell my blood sugar had dropped and I knew I needed to.

It is so quiet in this house. And I am so cold. It's unsettling. What I wouldn't give to have my love beside me right now, holding me close. I really do not want to be alone right now. I suppose I will just go back to sleep. It's the only way to make time pass by more quickly. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Hopefully.

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