Friday, November 25, 2011

This is no life

It amazes me; all the unique and special abilities, talents, and skills that people can have. Their good qualities that seem to help make this world not feel so harsh.

I always thought I was a good person. I always wanted to help others, and it never mattered to me what I had to give up to help them. Lately though, it seems I cause more heartache and problems for the people I care about. I make no useful contribution to their lives, nor to anyone or anything. I don't have any useful talents or skills. And with all the medication I am on, I sure as hell don't feel smart anymore.

I honestly just sit at home, doing nothing. My health- both physical and mental- just keeps getting worse. And there is so very little I can do about it. I have like two friends, that I hardly ever see anymore, and family who is so far away. My life is nothing more than taking up space between the walls of this house. I'm never going to do anything great or special. I'm no one, and it sucks. I hate myself, and I hate my life, if you can even call this living.

I used to be so full of hope. My life used to have meaning; a purpose. Now I sit here crying, wishing I could no longer exist. To no longer "be". I'm beyond miserable. And the worst part? No one even notices or cares.

1 comment:

  1. No point me saying people do care, sometimes i find they get to wrapped up in their own lives, particular this time of year, to consider others.. what i can say is i like your blog, you make me feel like someone else, experience things similar to me... i know i don't comment normally, but glad ur back posting.